I've Got This

This week has been momentous in the world of new mommyhood. Jason went back to work after his first 5 weeks of paternity leave, so I was alone with the baby (and two dogs) for the first time since being home, I had my first major outing by myself with Noam during which I went to my first new moms' support group, I had my second major outing during which I went on my first mommy/baby date with new moms & babies from said support group, and Noam slept for 6.5 hours straight for the first time. 

Let's be clear here, though. I've also had several more messy, embarrassing and humbling firsts: our first diaper blowout (still attempting to revive his onesie but beginning to accept the futility of it) and my first public leaky boob, to which public response was either knowing, sympathetic glances from other moms or attempts to not notice (I know you noticed, construction worker, it's okay), to name a few.

But despite which type of first it was - messy or miraculous - each one has filled me with ineffable amount of pride. All of these firsts have given me the feels (am I using that right?)  -- nervous, empowered, excited -- and feel like they've cemented my status as MOM. I'd be lying to myself and you if I said I didn't have momentary concerns during my pregnancy of whether or not I'd be a good mom. And, from time to time, I still wonder how I'll handle future challenges as he gets older, we have more kids and life gets tougher as it inevitably will. But these past few days have shown me one thing of which I'll be forever grateful and make every attempt to remind myself: I've got this.